At my dad’s viewing a couple of Friday nights ago, I saw my granddaughter Norah, sitting with her dad, looking flooded.
I sat down next to her and said, “It’s okay to be sad about Bubba, Jesus was sad at the death of a friend even though he knew his friend would live again.
She quickly looked at me and said, “Jesus did this to him.”
Beautiful honesty.
I was happy she was free to be honest with me…because now I was free to help her live in the truth…I knew what the thoughts behind her feelings were.
Often, we are presented with a false dichotomy.
Either:
- Shut up and color. Suck it up, don’t ask questions.
Or
- Be honest with you feelings and don’t let anyone correct any wrong thinking. Because whatever I feel is my truth.
There is no “my truth” there is only truth.
*Of course, both relationship and timing are key in helping people to receive truth
*I’ve seen people with no relational capital and little situational awareness…tell a sufferer, “He is in a better place.”
It may be true, but you are the wrong person and this is wrong time to say it.
There is a third way.
- Honest questions asked in the context of trust relationships…that open the door to reorientation of our minds and lives to the truth.
I’ve had many people over the years tell me that growing up in a church they felt like their questions were disregarded.
They may have been be true of course; it could also be true that they didn’t understand the answers…or they didn’t have a trust relationship with the person they were talking to and so the “feelings” of not being heard have lingered into adulthood.
There are two forms of imbalance here:
- One is to deny or stuff your doubts. Don’t ask questions or tell what you feel.
- The other is to believe your doubts, to believe “what you feel is true, even if it is not true.”
The balance is to have relationships with people such that you can share what you are feeling/thinking/believing in open and honest ways…AND OR SO…they can help us reorient to what is actually true and real.
If I have come to disbelieve in gravity and I plan to jump off a bridge based on my truth.
I am helped by sharing this with others and not keeping my plans to myself(honesty is important).
But I really need others to convince me of the reality of gravity…and help me to believe “the truth”
I don’t need people to simply show me sympathy for my feelings and let me jump to my own destruction.
It’s not “keep your struggles to yourself” OR “Believe what you feel”
Be honest and learn to believe what is real…have relationships such that this can happen.
I told Norah…”I understand, this is hard and confusing.”
“But Bubba knows Jesus didn’t do this to him, but Jesus did this for him.”
She was sad…she needs to tell me her feelings, and she needs me to help her think about what is true.
My grandson Chris said, standing by the casket… “Why do his hands look fake?”
Why, indeed?
It’s weird and confusing to him.
Those were the hands that had given him tons of treats and $5 bills and patted him on the back…why do they look like they are not real?
“Well Chris, Bubba is not in there to give that body life anymore.”
“It was a good body; Bubba did a lot of good with it…and he will get a new one…but Bubba is not in this one anymore.
It’s confusing to them because we look and act and are sad…and they hear us say “We are happy for Bubba”…because we are…it is pretty complex stuff.
So, we feel what we feel…but we must believe what is real.
This balancing act…is not just a struggle for believers dealing with “spiritual truth.”
Everyone, no matter how rational they believe themselves to be…struggles with believing what is real, rather than what they feel.
In the early part of the 20th century, pioneers in physics like Albert Einstein and Niels Bohr were divided into two main camps and thoroughly disagreed about what is true and real in the quantum world
They agreed on how it works…thus they could develop the Atom Bomb and other forms of technology…but they could not agree on the true nature of quantum physics.
What’s surprising is not the disagreement, scientists disagree all the time
But rather how much emotion, and pride, and what they felt to be true, or wanted to be true…influenced what they believed.
One, physicist produced a textbook that was widely used in the university…but as soon as he had finished it, he doubted his own conclusions…yet he published and promoted it anyway.
Feelings impacted what these scientists believed…every bit as much as the data in front of them.
This is a common human trait…to believe what we feel, even if it is not fully in line with what is real.
God has given us his word to continually reframe our lives through the lens of the gospel.
Peter’s letter is full of this reframing.
Especially in face of the most disorientating of all human experiences…suffering.
1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.
Don’t be surprised…okay, what then?
“Rejoice.”
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.
That really “feels” counterintuitive…in fact it sounds crazy to some people.
Don’t be surprised…okay…I get that, we should expect suffering…it is unrealistic to think otherwise
But…to rejoice, really?
Rejoice in what exactly? In pain, in suffering, in death?
No, rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ…so you will be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
What does that even mean?
Think back to 4:1…
Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin
This doesn’t mean that suffering automatically perfects us, make us sinless…it doesn’t.
It means that suffering, if responded to in faith…shapes us into people of depth and spiritual maturity.
It makes us people who are positioned to live for eternity and not just in time.
Sin…begins to look empty, and foolish, and stupid…it looks just like it is…the opposite of what is good.
In his second letter, Peter will address false teachers who lie and say “sin is freedom” knowing full well, “sin is the absence of freedom.”
So Suffering…can restore our “wanters”…we can learn to want what is good to want.
We lose our appetite for what is not good…and gain an appetite for what is.
Don’t be surprised…dismayed, disorientated
Do rejoice…the mighty, loving God…is at work in this…respond to him in faith, like Christ did and you will experience real and lasting joy like he did…and does
Hebrews 12:2 “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
That is Peter’s point here…he is reframing suffering not by saying, “Deny your feelings, suffering doesn’t matter, suck it up”
He says, “Look to Jesus, rejoice in the truth that God will bring about his good for you and his glory in you in all this.”
I’m not saying this is easy stuff…just that it is true.
Easy stuff is often not true…that is why we are so quick to believe it.
Then Peter gives an example of a specific form of suffering
If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.
One example of suffering for Christ…is being insulted for your faith
Comparatively, this may not seem like a huge form of suffering.
Maybe we are expecting…”If you are being tortured for Christ, you are blessed.”
But maybe we are not expecting to be mocked.
Peter is showing that suffering for Christ includes all kinds of experiences.
And sometimes we prepare ourselves for the big “bangs” and live unprepared for the smaller ones.
There has been a rash of suicides among teens because of “bullying” which now means…being insulted, made fun of, or excluded.
When I was a kid, at least in my circles…being bullied meant some kind of physical attack…now it includes verbal, digital, emotional as well.
Now children taking their lives, for any reason is horrific.
But the solution to the problem is almost universally seen as to “stop bullying”
“Punish those who insult”
We should be forming character in our youth…such that insulting and excluding would be seen as wrong.
But I have yet to hear of someone saying that the primary solution is to teach teens to not care so much about what others think and say about them.
*To be well-differentiated.
What others do and say is left column for me…how I respond is right column…I decide.
But this is not seen as a real solution, because it is assumed that young people do not have this kind of individualism and inner strength.
There are those who are naturally built to not care as much about what others think…but everyone can struggle with this.
But for all people…both children and adults…the power to live outside the tyranny of the opinions of others is rooted in our identity in Christ.
At any rate, we are to experience all kinds of suffering…from insult to torture with the same eternal perspective.
This perspective is not “natural” but it is possible.
It is possible as we live in vital(or living) union with Christ.
Peter, gives us a key balancing factor to consider in thinking about suffering.
But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.
There is no glory or blessing for suffering because you were choosing to act in a sinful or stupid way.
“Why me God? Why am I suffering?”
Because you were foolish or wicked…there is no mystery in this.
A good bit of human suffering is directly tied to human sin…not all, but a lot.
Sin is at odds with how God has made the world…disease through unhealthy lifestyles, buildings collapsing because of crooked contractors and corrupt officials, broken families and generations incarcerated because of selfish dads…on and on it goes.
This doesn’t mean God is through with you if you are suffering because of your own folly…it means, God is not glorified in it…but he can be glorified now, in how you respond going forward.
Don’t blame God and others…don’t become embittered…live in faith and faithfulness now.
Look at the spectrum of suffering for sin…murderer all the way down to meddler.
Peter is laying this out in broad terms…setting the parameters pretty widely.
“I will be ready to suffer torture and death!”
“Okay, but will you be ready to suffer being insulted”
“I will not kill anyone!?”
“Okay, but will you also not be a busybody or gossip?”
As Aaron said last week, Peter, is speaking from experience here…this is part testimony.
He remembers when he said, “Lord, even if all disown you, I never will!”
But then when someone pointed at him after Jesus was arrested, “Hey, that guy was with Jesus!”
Peter replied, “I don’t even know him.”
Peter was ready to go to war for Christ…he drew his sword against soldiers in the garden…but he was unprepared to stand up for Christ in public…when Christ was not being celebrated as a hero but arrested as a criminal
Now, back to the main point…the response to suffering for seeking to be faithful.
Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.
“Let him glorify God in that name” sounds like Peter is mostly saying we are to respond to suffering with words.
“Praise God, thank you God for this suffering”
You can verbalize praise in suffering but that is not what Peter means here.
“Let him glorify God in that name” Is about life, not just words here…in our suffering, in all of our lives…we are to live in a way that brings glory to Christ.
Of course, this includes what we say…but it is more than that.
Suffering with faith and faithfulness (trust in God revealed in godly actions) demonstrates that our claims as Christians are not just words.
Trust God by continuing to walk in his will and ways…whatever comes our way.
We do not turn from God but towards him in suffering.
We do not blame God but we trust him in suffering.
If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength! Prov 24:10
The point is not “You are weak, look at you!”
But rather, who we actually are, is tested in times of trouble.
When the “bang” happens…we find out how our training is going.
So…train for godliness now…learn to adjust your training over time.
In 2 Peter 1…Peter will lay out a training plan…we will study this passage in 2 weeks.
Make every effort (train) to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
So, trouble can reveal deficiencies our training plan…we are to make every effort to train for godliness.
If you are, or have been tested, and don’t like what it reveals…don’t despair…learn from it and retool your train.
*Maybe you have been disregarding prayer and Scripture intake…or just sleepily putting in time with God.
*Then…the “bang” happens…and you realize you are unprepared…so now, you change how you are training.
*Last Monday I was on a conference call with the Officer in charge of standing up the chaplaincy in the Ukrainian army.
*Last year they had no full-time chaplains…now they have 45 and counting.
*And they are being quickly trained and sent to the front lines.
-Why are they just now seeing the need for spiritual care for soldiers? War. Suffering.
*It has revealed a need…they are training to meet that need.
*If life reveals that you are not prepared as you want or should be…don’t despair…start training for godliness.
I don’t like a lot of what the past month revealed in my heart…I had long nights in the hospital to reflect…some of my reflection made me sad.
And sadness and disappointment are appropriate emotions when we see our deficits…but they are not the place to stay.
I have to ask myself…is my training, is my pursuit of relationship with God and others…”working” in the real testing grounds of trouble?
“No” or “Not as much as I would hope”…then adjust my training…learn and grow.
The point of that Proverb and Peter is not “If you fail you, are weak loser!”
It is, “If you fail in times of trouble…learn from it…Grow!”
Let’s move on in the passage:
17 For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And “If the righteous is scarcely saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”
Peter isn’t merely referring to judgment on sins in the church…though that is part of it.
He has just said, we should not suffer for being sinful.
He is reframing how we are to see suffering, “What in the world is going on here?
This is tied to “Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering as if something strange is happening.”
Why are we suffering and the people who are doing evil often seem to be going unpunished. How do we make sense of this?
The refining fire of verse 12 is a fire of God’s judgment.
But he uses the word “krima” which doesn’t necessarily mean condemnation (Katakrima)
When my friend, Judge Bruce Brown renders judgement it could be “good” or “bad” judgment
He could Krima in someone’s favor, declare them “Not guilty” or katakrima…judge them “guilty ”
Peter is painting a picture for a church(s) spread out across Asia Minor…confused by what they are experiencing…
Yes, God is judging within the church, he will also judge those outside the church
God’s refining fire leaves no one untouched…but Christians are purified, strengthened by it…they are moving away from sin towards faith and faithfulness.
2 Cor. 7:10 “ Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
God’s judgment on his people is to draw us in and make us free…but those who refuse to submit to him, the judgement of their sin is devastating.
If, or since, God is judging, purifying his own people…what will become of those who refuse to follow him in faith?
What will be the outcome of God’s judgment in their lives?
“You look around and see Christians suffering and it appears non-believers are thriving…don’t be confused by this…understand what is actually happening.”
God is judging his church…it is a purifying judgment.
God will judge the world…if people refuse to believe the gospel, it will be a terrible judgment.
Don’t look around and envy the wicked…pity them…or better yet, share the gospel with them.
Last verse, in chapter 4,
Therefore, let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.
This one verse sums up 1 Peter in its entirety.
Suffering is not random and need not be wasted…be faithful.
It can seem harsh, to Norah’s point, “Jesus did this to Bubba”
But on deeper reflection…it means that God sets the limits on our suffering and, maybe even more important…God ensures that our suffering is not in vain.
We never have to waste our sorrows.
Peter is using a phrase “entrust their souls”, that he heard with his own ears in the face of incredible suffering of Jesus and his own shame at denying his friend
On the cross…
Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last. Luke 23:46
Now, as Peter reflects back on that moment and all that came after it…resurrection, restoration…it is all crystal clear to him.
What Jesus said (lived) in the face of suffering on the cross…we are to seek to model in our own lives.
“Father, I trust my soul to you…even in the face of this suffering…I will continue to follow you and love you.”
CONCLUSION:
All this talk of suffering can be unnerving.
Can we talk about something else?
Peter does talk about something else…God’s glory, our sharing in his glory.
To not think about suffering is not going to exempt us from it…it will simply leave us unprepared for it.
Peter talks a lot about suffering but he puts it in the larger context of the purposes of God.
There are other ways to deal with the reality of suffering.
We can choose denial in some form.
A common approach in the far east. Seek to eliminate suffering by eliminating desires.
-This of course doesn’t eliminate suffering, it simply seeks to quench human longing…and in so doing, leaves us empty.
A common approach in the west. Whistle past the graveyard.
-As best you can, as long as you can…don’t think about it.
-This of course doesn’t eliminate suffering, it simple leaves us unprepared and unable to deal with life as it actual is.
The best and biblical approach:
Therefore, let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.
There is no denial of human longing…God has put it in us…death is bad, suffering is hard.
But we know that our truest longings will not be fully met in this life.
But our deepest longing is, in fact, not for food or pleasure or power or a pain free life…it is for God.
Do not be surprised and the painful trial…and do not deny or live in fear of the hardships of life.
Instead…trust God and be found faithful.
Entrust your soul to the faithful creator While doing good…this is faith empowered faithfulness.