DISCUSSION GUIDE
Read 1 Peter 3: Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Matt 26:39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.
John 6:38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.
Phil. 2:5-9 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore, God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Q1: God the Son, who is eternally equal with God the Father, subjected himself to the Father’s will. Why do you think it is common for people to believe that the one subjecting self to an authority is “less” than the authority? How is this out of step with biblical reality?
Q2: Wives and husbands both have a “likewise” clause in Peter’s directions to them. Go back to chapter two and hunt for what this clause refers to. What did you find? How does this help us understand what it means to live as husbands and wives in our roles and responsibilities in marriage?
Q3: Peter is focused on the “hidden person of the heart”. He writes that there at the heart level, God is pleased with a “gentle and quiet spirit.” This is the same way Jesus described himself. (Matt 11:29). What do you think a “gentle and quiet spirit” is, and what is it not? This is directed to wives, but based on the teachings of the New Testament, how is this also the kind of heart all men and women should give attention to?
Read Genesis 12: So Abram left, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. 5 He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.
Genesis 12: Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. 11 As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. 12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.”
Genesis 16: Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; 2 so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. 3 So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. 4 He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.” 6 “Your servant is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so, she fled from her.
Genesis 29: When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. 12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”
Q4: Clearly, Sarah(and Abraham) is not being held up as a model of perfection to follow. Wives are told that they are her heirs(children) if “you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” Considering Sarah’s life, how did her faith empower her to not live in fear? (She lived as a nomad, had a child at an advanced age, was in dangerous situations, etc.).
Q5: Women, men, single or married…How do Abraham and Sarah’s failures of faith encourage you? How do their acts of faith challenge you?
Q6: Husbands, how much time and effort do you give to understanding your wife? What does this look like in the specifics? What needs to change for you to grow in living in an “understanding way” with your wife?
Q7: Wives, how can you pray for and help your husband do better at this?
Q8: If you are unmarried, what married couple are you close to that you can pray for and encourage in their marriage?
Q9: Hindered prayers are tied here to the husbands’ failure to honor their wives. The principle with a broader application is that God is narrowly focused on the areas where we are not living in line with his will and ways. Confession of sin should always be a focus of our prayer lives. Why is this so important to God? What does consistent and unrepentant sin do to us and our relationships with God and others?
Q10: Throughout Peter’s letter, he is concerned that Christians model Christ in all their relationships in order to flesh out the gospel and make it attractive to those outside the church. How do you think God is using you in your workplace, family, gym, etc., to demonstrate the gospel? How can you be more faithful in verbally communicating the good news of Jesus?