Autonomy is the idol of our age. Consider that proposition with me. Autonomy is the idol of our age. Personal autonomy is the idea of self-governance. I am sovereign over myself.
My truth, my desires, my rights are of utmost importance, and they often triumph over my duties and obligations to others.
Our default assumption is that people are autonomous individuals who are encouraged to express their authentic selves. This often leads to destruction.
This stands in contrast to a biblical understanding of humanity. We are not autonomous. We are finite, limited creatures, dependent on others and, ultimately, dependent on God.
On Wednesday this week, Elizabeth and I went to an ultrasound appointment and saw our son.
Even before birth, he is already in relationship with others—and he is totally vulnerable and dependent on the care of his mother. He is not an isolated autonomous individual. As he is created in God’s image, he already stands in relationship with others.
Dependence is fundamental to being human. And that’s good.
If you have a Bible, please open it up to 1 Timothy 5. Our passage this morning discusses the church’s responsibility to care for its most vulnerable members. How do we care for those in genuine need?
1 Tim 5:1–16.
This passage includes the longest section in the Bible devoted to the care and support of widows, who in Paul’s day were among the most vulnerable members of society. The length of the passage should signal to us the degree of importance this issue held for Paul.
Paul argues that the church, the household of God, must wisely and responsibly care for widows in genuine need. He gives Timothy principles and criteria for managing that care and support.
The main idea of my sermon is that the church must wisely and responsibly care for those in genuine need.
Let me read our passage and then we’ll work our way through it.
5 Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.
3 Support widows who are genuinely in need. 4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God. 5 The widow who is truly in need and left all alone has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers; 6 however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command this also, so that they will be above reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9 No widow is to be enrolled on the list for support unless she is at least sixty years old, has been the wife of one husband, 10 and is well known for good works—that is, if she has brought up children, shown hospitality, washed the saints’ feet, helped the afflicted, and devoted herself to every good work. 11 But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when they are drawn away from Christ by desire, they want to marry 12 and will therefore receive condemnation because they have renounced their original pledge. 13 At the same time, they also learn to be idle, going from house to house; they are not only idle, but are also gossips and busybodies, saying things they shouldn’t say. 14 Therefore, I want younger women to marry, have children, manage their households, and give the adversary no opportunity to accuse us. 15 For some have already turned away to follow Satan. 16 If any believing woman has widows in her family, let her help them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it can help widows in genuine need.
Our passage has three sections, so I have three points.
- The church is a family (vv. 1–2)
- Responsibility to care (vv. 3–8)
- Criteria for care (vv. 9–16)
The Church is a Family (vv. 1–2)
Chapter five begins by focusing on specific relationships and dynamics within the church. Some important context for us to remember is 1 Tim 3:15, where Paul says that his purpose in writing is that “you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.”
The church is described as a family. The church is comprised of natural families––whether through birth, marriage, or adoption––and the family-of-faith.[1]
In verses 1–2, the overarching principle for relationships within the church is that they are to be characterized by showing honor to one another.
You honor the older men and women in the congregation as fathers and mothers. You honor the younger men and women in the congregation as brothers and sisters.
If you remember from chapter 1, Paul has already alluded to the 10 Commandments; and the fifth commandment to honor your father and mother is certainly in the background of Paul’s mind here (Exod 20:12).
In verse 1, Paul tells Timothy not to rebuke an older man but to encourage him as a father. As Timothy is pastoring those older than him, he may need to provide spiritual correction.
There is some awkwardness of being in that position. He’s younger in age but in a position of spiritual oversight as a pastor. The point is, don’t criticize him in a way that shows disrespect, but seek to encourage that man as you would your father. This is assuming a healthy father-son relationship.
I think this means you can be direct, but you do so without being disrespectful.
In verse 2, Paul specifies how men are to show honor to the younger women in the congregation: “with all purity.”
That means total, complete purity. Boys in the youth group, that means you treat these young women as sisters. That means you protect their honor.
We respect, love, and honor the young women in our church as you would your sister. I have a young daughter. The church should be the safest place for her to grow up in.
It would be an utter shame if women felt safer in their college classroom across the street than they do here. I know that’s not the case. The church should be a place where women are free from inappropriate jokes, unacceptable behavior, or contact.
Relationships in the church are to be characterized by showing honor to one another.
A few questions of application on the church as family.
As you think about your engagement and participation in the church, do you think of yourself more as an individual or as belonging to a family?
How might viewing the church as a family change your interactions with others in the congregation?
Responsibility to Care (vv. 3–8)
In verses 3–8, Paul speaks to the church’s duties and responsibilities to care for widows in genuine need (vs 3).
As I mentioned earlier, this is the longest section in the Bible devoted to the care and support of widows. Care for widows is a major theme woven throughout the OT (Deut 10:18, 24:17; Isa 1:17).
James 1:27 says, “Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”
This is an important issue for Paul. Our cultural context is different than Paul’s; yet the principles that Paul gives remain instructive for us today as we seek to care for those in genuine need among us.
It seems to be the case that there was a formalized support plan in place to use the church’s resources to support widows in genuine need.
That’s what “enrolled on the list” refers to in vs 9. If there was a list, then we can safely assume there was a formalized support plan.
I also think this indicates the early church practiced church membership. If they had a formalized list for supporting widows in need; then it’s safe to assume they also had a formalized way of knowing who their members were. They are not simply caring for all widows in general, but members of the church.
Therefore, Paul provides principles for care and criteria for who is eligible to receive support.
Importantly, I don’t think that Paul is providing us with a blueprint so that we reproduce the identical support program for widows in our congregation.
Instead, I think Paul is giving us principles to think through and apply how we might faithfully steward the resources of the church to support those in genuine need among us (and this very well may include widows).
The primary question these verses seek to answer is who bears primary responsibility in providing support.
I think implicit in Paul’s instructions is the principle known as subsidiarity.
That may be a new word, or it might sound like a complicated word, but the main idea is simple. It’s an idea that emerges from a Christian worldview.
The principle of subsidiarity is the idea that issues should be handled at the lowest level. From a Christian worldview, this means that the family is the most basic unit in society.
The family bears primary responsibility and authority before the church or the state steps in.
Where do we see this in the text?
We see it in verses 3–5, where Paul highlights the family’s responsibility.
In verse 3, Paul gives the command to support widows in genuine need. The obvious natural question is, what does “genuine need” mean? (Some translations may say “truly widows” or “widows indeed”).
Paul gives us the answer in verse 4: “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God.”
It’s clear then that a widow in genuine need is a woman who does not have any family. It could be that her family is deceased or that she never had children. Or it could be that her children are not believers and they’re not in the picture.
Verse 5 further clarifies “genuine need” by noting that this is a widow who “is truly in need and left all alone.”
Who is a widow in genuine need? This is a widow lacking family connections.
The principle of subsidiarity comes into play in verse 4. If she has children or grandchildren, they bear primary responsibility for supporting her. They need to provide for her needs before the church steps in.
What’s the rationale for that? Paul wants the church to steward its resources to support the most vulnerable—those who truly cannot care for themselves and who do not have others to care for them.
The family bears primary responsibility. This is a responsibility that honors God.
Look at verse 4 again. Children repay their parents by caring for them when they can no longer care for themselves. This is an expression of honoring the fifth commandment (honor your father and mother).
There is a reciprocal sense of giving and receiving care.
If you have kids of your own, then you know that it’s impossible to repay your parents for all the sacrifices they made for you. The repayment Paul is talking about is not simply balancing a debt. The point is returning unconditional care and support to those who cared for you at your weakest and most vulnerable.
Paul commands children to be mindful of their obligations to honor their parents. Children are not mere individuals. As parents decline in health, you can honor the Lord by supporting their needs.
In our context, that may look like moving your parents into your home. It may look like managing and facilitating their care in assisted living or skilled nursing.
Whatever the case, supporting those who supported you is God-honoring and God-glorifying work.
Paul again highlights the responsibility of family in providing support for widows in verse 8: “But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Paul begins by emphasizing extended relatives, and then he narrows the scope when he says, especially one’s own household, which refers to immediate family.
If anyone fails to proactively support their family, he is worse than an unbeliever. What does Paul mean here?
Roman culture essentially practiced a form of ancestor worship. Family was a big deal. Paul’s point is that if unbelieving pagans take care of their family, how much more should Christians?[2]
We often think about provision in verse 8 merely in terms of finances, but that’s too narrow. It certainly can include that, but it’s not limited to that.
I think providing for your family also includes planning about the future. Women typically live longer than men. For men, part of providing for your family includes planning about the future—what happens if you die? What are you doing now to ensure your family is provided for in the event of your death?
Providing for your family also includes protecting them. It includes being proactive and engaged in their nurture and development. It includes emotional and spiritual leadership.
To summarize this section (vv. 3–8). Who has the responsibility to care for widows in the church?
The family bears primary responsibility.
- Care begins at the lowest level (immediate family).
- Responsibility of care expands to extended relatives.
- If there is no family, the church steps in to support “genuine widows.”
Paul turns from discussing who bears primary responsibility for support to criteria for those who are eligible to receive support.
Criteria for Care (vv. 9–16)
I’m going to summarize the criteria and then discuss some of the details.
Criteria for receiving support:
- A widow in “genuine need.”
- Age restriction (60 years old minimum)
- Track record and reputation for godliness
- Care must not enable patterns of sinful behavior
Why the age restriction in verse 9? It may sound like Paul is excluding or being unfair to younger widows. Rather than a negative command, it’s positive. Paul wants to give priority to those with the greatest need. Hence, the age restriction.
Next, Paul says the widow must have a track record and reputation for godliness. She must have been the wife of one husband and well known for good works (v. 9).
“Wife of one husband” is the exact inverse of Paul’s requirements for pastors being the “husband of one wife” in 3:2. This requirement is faithfulness to her husband.
What follows from this in verse 10 is a representative list of a track record of faithfulness and godliness: brought up children, shown hospitality, washed the saints’ feet, helped the afflicted, devoted herself to good works.
The big question: What does Paul mean in verse 11 when he refuses to enroll younger widows because they are drawn away from Christ by desire and want to remarry? Then, in vs. 12, Paul says they receive condemnation because they have renounced their original pledge.
You might be thinking, isn’t re-marriage a good thing? It sounds like Paul is condemning that.
He is not condemning marriage. In verse 14, Paul expressly says that he wants younger widows to marry—to be open to re-marriage.
Here’s what I think is going on.
The implication seems to be that widows receiving church support may have taken some sort of vow or pledge not to remarry. I think we see this in verse 5, where Paul speaks of the widow who has put her hope in God continues night and day in her petitions and prayers. I think that may be an expression of a vow, being wholly devoted to the Lord.
Paul envisions a scenario where younger widows desire to remarry are drawn away and break their vow. That’s why Paul says they are condemned. Their sin is breaking their vow. This can be hard for us to grasp because—apart from wedding vows—we don’t really make vows in our culture. But for Paul, violation of a vow was a weighty, serious matter.
By refusing to enroll younger widows, Paul is trying to protect them from sinning by breaking a vow that they shouldn’t have made to begin with.
Not allowing younger widows on the list might sound exclusionary. But Paul is trying to protect them from breaking a promise they made before God. Some may think Paul seems cruel there, but I think his motivation is protecting them with their best interest in mind.
The final criterion Paul gives is that care should not enable sinful patterns of behavior.
Paul contrasts godly discipleship with malformed discipleship.
What is godly discipleship? It’s the hospitality and good works of verse 10. It’s the being above reproach of verse 7. Living productive lives and being responsible helps to guard against sin.
What is malformed discipleship? It’s the idleness and gossiping of verse 13. Paul is not being sexist or misogynistic but is speaking in general terms of specific sins that women may be prone to. When Paul says, “they learn to be idle,” the word learn is the NT word for disciple/discipleship.
They become malformed disciples. They become disciples of sin rather than disciples of Christ. Verse 15 speaks of those who have turned away and have followed Satan.
Verse 6 speaks of this self-indulgent behavior as being spiritually dead.
Paul wants to guard against supporting widows in such a way that would enable or promote sinful behavior. If there is not genuine need and someone receives support from the church, Paul understands that this will enable sinful patterns of behavior.
And that is not being a faithful steward of the church’s resources. In verse 16, Paul says the church should not be burdened so that it can help widows in genuine need.
One final question for us to reflect on this morning.
How is our passage connected to the gospel?
It’s the gospel that transforms our lives that empowers us to care for those in genuine need.
Here’s my theological summary that I draw from our passage: The gospel that exposes our dependence on God empowers our care for those who depend on us.
What do I mean that the gospel exposes our dependence on God?
Our passage has repeatedly emphasized “genuine need.”
Friends, this points us to our greatest need. Our greatest need is the gospel.
Apart from the gospel of Jesus, we are dead, even while we live. We are spiritually dead and condemned in our sin.
The gospel exposes that dependence. It exposes our problem. It reveals to us that we are utterly dependent on God, we can do nothing to rescue ourselves.
The good news is that God himself provides the solution to our problem. God sent his Son Jesus to save and redeem us from our sin by dying in our place, bearing the punishment we deserve on the cross.
By rising from the dead, he defeated the power of sin and death, providing cleansing and forgiveness from sin to all who those who turn from sin and trust him. And then he sends his Spirit into our hearts so that we are adopted as sons through Jesus Christ.
Now we belong to a family, God’s household, the church of the living God. This same gospel that exposed our dependence on God is the same gospel that empowers us to care for those who depend on us.
The gospel is what transforms our relationships so that we become a gospel-shaped people. Gospel-shaped people are those who are no longer inwardly focused on self, but are outward-focused, caring for and providing for the needs of the saints in God’s household.
[1] Robert W. Yarbrough, The Letters to Timothy and Titus, The Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2018), 270. [2] Gerald L. Bray, The Pastoral Epistles, The International Theological Commentary (London: T&T Clark, 2019), 248–49.