Do you have “purpose anxiety”
Evidently it’s a thing.
It’s defined as “the gnawing sense that one’s life should have an overarching purpose, but it’s unclear how to discover it.”
“There’s a lot of commands to find purpose, but not a lot of support to find purpose,” said Michael Steger, a professor at Colorado State University and director of its “Center for Meaning and Purpose.”
I suppose your purpose could be to get a degree in purpose from Colorado State?
The definition of purpose is said to be elastic…here are some questions I read related to the supposedly elasticity of purpose.
“Can you have only one purpose or can you have many?”
“Does it have to involve service to others, or can it be something that consistently gives only you great pleasure and meaning?”
“Think of purpose not as something that governs behavior but as a compass you can choose to follow, helping direct your energies toward a central life aim.”
-Says Todd Kashdan, a professor at George Mason University and founder of its Well-Being Laboratory.
So, you could also go to George Mason and get a degree in Well-being.
My question for the professor is:
“If people are anxious because they are unclear as to how to discover purpose, how does purpose serve as a compass to direct your life?”
I become anxious just thinking in this circular reasoning fashion.
I do agree with him when he says, “People can lead content, meaningful lives without ever articulating a sense of purpose.”
But I agree only if he also includes…”As long as they are actually living lives of purpose.”
Many people, in the older generation in particular…lived lives of purpose, but they didn’t spend time trying to articulate it.
My dear Granny, uneducated, and not especially articulate…lived with purpose, but she probably wouldn’t know how to answer if you asked her about her purpose.
I imagine that she would say something like, “Well, I’m going to cook dinner for my kids today…is that what you mean?”
Some people are too busy living meaningful lives to have much time or interest to reflect on whether their lives had meaning.
Some people’s lives are so difficult…meaning has devolved into survival.
The point is…we do need to actually live lives with purpose; we don’t have to be able to articulate it.
Better yet…we could live lives with purpose AND be clear as to why we are doing so.
Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Pray, Love”…I haven’t read it, or seen the movie…I don’t plan to, ever…she peaks often about an “unhealthy obsession over a purposeful life.”
But is this about an unhealthy obsession or is this a check engine light that tells us we are living lives void of real purpose?
When the check engine light goes on in our car…we can become anxious and obsess over the light…or we can see about getting the engine fixed.
For Jordan Grumet, author of “The Purpose Code,” there is big “P” Purpose and little “p” purpose, and too many people, he thinks, stress about finding the first and ignore the second.
“Big ‘P’ Purpose,” he says, “is goal-oriented — it’s usually big and audacious, and often unattainable,”
Social media, he said, “is full of people trying to force that version of purpose on you so that they can make money.”
Better, he said, to focus on little “p” purpose and pursuits that some might simply call hobbies — gardening, singing, collecting baseball cards.
Yeah, I definitely call those hobbies
He has, I think, tried to solve the problem by simple saying, there is no real problem.
A kind of Jedi mind trick.
The fact is, there is no such thing as “little p” purpose…he is redefining terms.
The one who frames the argument, wins the argument.
Purpose, by definition “Is the reason for which something (someone) exists.”
If I exist to collect baseball cards, or work my job, or even volunteer…can this sustain me as the “the reason for which I exist?”
Not very well, and certainly not for long.
Here’s why:
- My purpose has become completely subjective, its self-invented.
-I invent my own “purpose compass”
-This is convenient because whatever direction I want to go, is the “right direction”
-It doesn’t work, because…
-I know, I made it up…it is not transcendent, larger than my own desires.
-Little “p” purpose, in my experience fails people at the worst possible times.
To quote the poet William Yates (Yeats), “The center cannot hold.”
The poem this line comes from, in the aftermath of WWI, the worldwide flu epidemic, and the threat of death for his pregnant wife.
All the world, including is personal world, seemed to be unraveling…the center cannot hold.
In the same way, Little “p” purpose cannot bear the weight of a human life.
- Because if my purpose is little “p” then eventually I will run out of purpose.
-When I can’t do these things…sickness, or some other life event takes my little “p” purpose.
Eventually, my own death will take me to the end of “little” p purpose.
This is no solution…it is simply denial.
“I can’t really find or understand purpose, so I will call this thing I can do or understand my purpose…”
I’ve led many funerals…some of them for people who had tried to live this way.
Their little “p” purpose failed them at the end, and most often…some time before their end.
How do I know this was true?
I talked to the people who were still alive, who struggled to find good things, meaningful things, purposeful things to say about this person who was gone.
I have lead funerals with people looking at me with tears, or anger in their eyes…looking at me for some kind of comfort…and we all knew, their loved one died without real hope, and lived without real purpose.
And their lives are over.
*I once at the graveside of a young father, who died at his own hand, and you could hear the anguished wail of his teenage daughter over the howling of the cold February wind.
*It felt like utter desolation…though I knew better.
I am not trying to be overly gloomy or dramatic…I am trying to say this is real life…it must be addressed it must not be avoided.
I have some passion about this…because I’ve been at the gravesides…and there are no do overs.
I would say “purpose anxiety” is not something we should seek to avoid, deny or be rid of.
The need for purpose is built into us by design.
Purpose anxiety, if there is such a thing, is the heart’s response to something being wrong.
When the fire alarm goes off, we should first look for fire, not try to silence the alarm.
The solution is to live according to our design…to live with Purpose…not to try and stop feeling anxious about living an empty and ultimately meaningless life.
We cannot discover our purpose…we can’t make our own compass…how could we.
A compass only helps us when it has a point of reference other than us.
But fortunately, we do not need to discover our purpose, it has been revealed…the creator of the cosmos has told us what it is.
Our journey through the OT has finally brought us to the fall of the southern kingdom to Babylon.
We have, since January, read of the creation and fall of humanity.
We have seen God’s grand plan to rescue us from sin
We read of his calling a man named Abraham to become a people called to known him and make him known.
We read of the decades long Exodus rescue of his people after hundreds of years of bondage.
We read the long lists and chapters that describe the making of a nation with a land and laws.
Then the foolish kings who led to division of the nation, and ultimately the fall of the nation…one divided half at a time.
Now in Jeremiah the destruction of Judah is complete and hopelessness, seems to reign supreme.
The Babylonian exile came in three parts. The first, in 605 is mentioned in the book of Daniel.
The second, 597 BC included other elites, of Judean society.
The final one came in 586 BC, when after failing to head multiple warnings from Jeremiah, the King of Judah attempted to form an alliance with Egypt.
The result was the Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar returned, sacked Jerusalem, destroyed the Temple and deported the majority of the population, ending Judah as a national entity.
After the first round of exiles, Jeremiah continued to stay in contact with the people in Babylon.
They were hoping for a soon return to their land, Jeremiah gave them the hard truth. “Settle in folks, it is going to be a long time.”
In fact, most of them would live out their entire lives in exile, so they were told to “Pursue the well-being of the city I have deported you to. Pray to the Lord on its behalf, for when it thrives, you will thrive.” Jeremiah 29:7.
This is a model for how we as believers are to live in cultures that are largely opposed to God.
We are to live faithfully as dual citizens of both heaven and of the nations in which God has placed us…more on this when we get to the book of Daniel.
Let’s read from Jeremiah chapter 29.
The introduction of this chapter tells us that what follows is the text of a letter that Jeremiah wrote to the surviving leaders in Babylonian exile.
It specifies “surviving” because many…had been killed.
Here is the text of the letter he sent.
This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” Yes, this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let the prophets among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the Lord. This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:4-14
Here is one of the many places in Scripture where human purpose, capital P is defined.
Let’s try to get our minds around the context before we look at the content.
The Babylonians have attacked and conquered your nation.
Many of your friends and family have been killed.
You have endured starvation, terror, and unthinkable warfare suffering.
Now you have been forced marched around 900 miles, a journey that took at least four terrible months.
Many would have died along the way…like the trail of tears of the American Cherokees, or the Bataan death march in WWII.
And the ones who survived, the ones reading Jeremiah’s letter would be longing for hope and home.
They were dreaming of God rescuing them from these terrible and disorienting circumstances…from this nightmare.
So, can you get a feel for their mood, their mentality, their context?
Okay, let’s look at the content.
- Our purpose is a subset of God’s purposes
“I” God said, carried you into exile, not the Babylonian army
Our purpose is tied to God’s larger purposes.
Yes, you were forced marched with a Babylonian spear at your back, but I brought you here.
We don’t have autonomous purpose…we exist for his glory, apart from him, we are without meaning, hope, or purpose.
What this means is we have reason for courage…faith and faithfulness…because are not at the whims of evil people, disease, disaster, or even death.
God is sovereign over it all.
This leads, of course, to mystery…to the question of “Okay, but why God?”
If you are sovereign overall, then why this suffering?
Judah knew why, it was judgment…but all suffered much for the sins of some…there was still much mystery at the personal level.
Our confidence in God’s sovereignty does not remove mystery…but it does give us a firm foundation for living faithfully in the mystery.
Last week I had little outdoor Bible study with three of my grandkids.
We talked about Deut 29:29:
- Things we know: we are to be faithful by obeying
- Things we don’t know (mystery): We are to be faithful by trusting.
*I looked at Norah, our ten-year-old granddaughter who has suffered with a terrible disease.
*She sat there with a trach in her throat, and her mechanical diaphragm pacer helping her breath… and looked at me with her big, sweet eyes.
I said…
“Norah, we don’t know why you have CCHS, but let’s talk about some things that we do know.”
I told of her of how many people around the world have been impacted by her life, people she doesn’t even know.
I have a friend, who has not met her…who prays for her every day.
I told her of the promise that someday God will use her to encourage others with the encouragement she has experienced through her suffering…I told her that God would use her in ways that are unique to her.
Ways only she, not me or her brothers, could do.
So, Jeremiah wrote that…God, not the Babylonians has brought you here…this is the set point for finding purpose in their situation…in our situations.
Does it make it easy?
Of course not.
It makes big “P” purpose possible
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28
Our purpose is a subset of his purposes.
- Living out our purpose is never some grandiose thing; it is always only simply being found faithful.
Jeremiah had told them to not settle down in Judah, to prepare for the coming disaster and exile.
Faithfulness then was to submit to the will of God for what was coming…as much as they didn’t like his will.
Suffering was coming…and suffering is always tedious…it is never grand and glorious.
They largely failed to heed God’s word then… but now, faithfulness was to settle down…to be content with where God had placed them.
Build houses, plant gardens, eat meals, grow families.
Seek the prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile.
Remember, they were to being told to seek the prosperity of the nation that had destroyed their own.
They could do this if they saw their circumstances as being the will of God, not random forces of fate, or the evil forces of men.
In a few weeks we will get a clear picture of what this kind of faithfulness looks like when we read about Daniel and his friends.
They were taken into Babylon, received forced indoctrination into that culture, including its religion.
The result was that the indoctrination failed, Daniel was able to live as a thermostat not a thermometer.
A thermometer reflects the surrounding temperature; a thermostat sets the temperature.
Here’s what Paul wrote to a church in Greece, a key city in the pagan Roman empire.
It sounds similar to what Jeremiah wrote to the exiles in Babylon.
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
1 Thess. 4:11-12
This is not about finding “little p” purpose…I don’t think there is such a thing.
This is about finding “Big P” purpose in every little thing.
I have said it before, and I believe it is true:
“Either everything matters or nothing does.”
There is no middle position.
Everything matters when we seek to be faithful to the larger purposes of God in the smallest circumstances of our lives.
God may call you to much more than a quiet life…he may propel you, like he did Daniel, into places of national influence and authority.
He may thrust you into the spotlight…but make sure it is him pushing you to the front, not you pushing your way there.
This is about right ambition…make it your ambition to be at peace with your circumstances.
I would translate it as: “Be ambitious for faithfulness.”
Even if God propels you to prominence, that place of prominence is temporary.
You won’t be there long… someone else will take your place.
The key is to continually guard our hearts…to maintain ambition for faithfulness in all circumstances.
When your purpose is faithfulness to God, your purpose is unblockable by any outside forces or circumstances.
A little farther down in Romans 8 we read this:
nothing in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Faithfulness as a life purpose is not abstract.
Some have said to me that though I talk about faithfulness often…it seems to be hard to nail down what that means in specifics.
What about people who use this an excuse to not try or to be passive?
Well, then that would not be faithfulness would it?
Scripture outlines the specifics of faithfulness in so many ways…we talk about those ways every single Sunday.
You may miss them…because they are so ordinary, so normal.
Like…husbands love your wives, mind your own business and work with your hands, forgive, give thanks…on and on it goes.
Faithfulness as purpose cannot be blocked and does not change when life circumstances do.
As much as I am challenged by William Carey, often called the father of modern mission’s quote:
“Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God.”
I don’t think it’s always great advice to be honest.
It depends on who is defining “Great.”
Paul, who was the father of missions, told us to…be ambitious to live a quiet life, work and live faithfully.
Faithfulness as a life purpose is tied to the Lordship of Christ, not our own personal preferences, and whims.
It is certainly not tied to our ideas about adventure and greatness.
In Jeremiah 45 Jeremiah will tell his assistant Baruch, “Should you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not.”
I imagine Baruch believed his ambitions to be holy ones, maybe even for the glory of God…but he was told to, “Die to all that, disaster is coming and here is what you can expect…you will escape with your life.”
Now go be faithful.
I am not saying we should not take risks, seek adventure, desire to live a faith filled expectant life…by all means attempt great things, expect great things.
But remember, God is impressed with faithfulness.
He told King Saul…to obey is better than sacrifice.
- Our purpose is ultimately larger than just this life.
Let’s reread part of our passage.
“When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.
Seventy years means that virtually all the adults hearing this will be dead.
This promise would transcend their own natural lives.
An oft quoted and oft misapplied verse is Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you—this is the Lord’s declaration—plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
The misapplication is in its frequent use as a promise that God will get me out of this mess right now!
I am going to live to prosper, no bad is going to come…or at least good, as I define it, will win in the end.
In fact, it is a verse that frames the reality that the full promises of God are already, but not yet.
In context the plans for their well-being were in their distant future…some would not live to see it.
There were to embrace God’s will for them as being long-term exiles in Babylon while looking forward to God’s future promises yet to be fulfilled.
Ultimately the promise was going to be fulfilled long after they had all died.
It was the promise of a New Covenant, written on hearts not on tablets of stone.
Jeremiah will demonstrate his faith in God’s promise through his practical action.
While the Babylonian army is literally at the gates of the city, Jeremiah purchased some property.
He did this knowing that he would personally never enjoy the land himself.
It was an act of faith in the future promises of God to restore the people to the land after the exile.
Jeremiah would live out his life in exile in Egypt…taken there against his will…but he had a vision for the hope of the New Covenant.
In the same way we are to live faithfully in the days and in the place God has given us while keeping our eyes fixed on the eternal promises of God that transcend this life.
This balance is difficult but possible, and very important to keep.
As Jesus was preparing his friends for his coming death and the short-term hopelessness and disorientation that he knew it would bring he told them this:
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
John 14:1
Thomas said what they were all thinking:
“Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Our purpose transcends this life and is all tied up in relationship with Jesus.
Our purpose does not avoid or deny faithfulness in this life…it is not faithfulness to live only for the life to come and not fully in this present life.
Transcendent purpose shows up in faithfulness in every detail of this life.
Karl Marx (the ideological co-founder of communism) famously, and foolishly said that “Religion is the opiate of the masses.”
He believed that religion dulls people’s pain with false hopes of heaven and makes them vulnerable to the evils of capitalism.
Many who deny God believe to this day that belief in heaven distracts people from making the most of their lives on earth.
The exact opposite is true.
Marx would have humans kill and be killed for some kind of utopian socialist heaven on earth…while denying a real heaven after death.
But in the end, those who gave their lives for his earthly utopia, that never came…died for nothing…because there is no God, no eternity…not big “P” purpose.
He wrote:
“Religion is only the illusory sun about which man revolves so long as he does not revolve about himself. Man is the highest being for man.”
Such a fool…but ideas, no matter how foolish, have consequences.
Gooding, David; Lennox, John. Being Truly Human: The Limits of our Worth, Power, Freedom and Destiny (The Quest for Reality and Significance Book 1)Kindle Edition.
Marx, whose philosophy when turned into political reality, killed hundreds of millions of people.
Taught that good philosophy ought to start with the basic fact that man has to eat to live.
Philosophy is philos and sophia…the love of wisdom.
Obviously it is true that we need daily bread…but it is also true that “Man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4
Marx had no wisdom; Jesus is all wise.
I have seen people with very little bread, full of gospel purpose…seeing them was part of what changed my life many years ago…it showed me the power of the gospel.
I have seen people with much more than their daily bread, full of wealth and void of all purpose.
Living for daily food is enough purpose for pets, but not for people.
When people are living only for daily food…it means society as God has designed it has broken down.
We are designed, as evidenced in the prayer of the Lord, to be grateful for our daily bread, and to pray for his Kingdom to come and his will to be done.
This is a basic prayer and this is an epic prayer…at the same time.
We are to live in today, but not just for today.
Because there is a real heaven and a real hell, every day of life on earth is packed full of eternal significance.
A purpose that transcends this life is essential for purpose in this life.
If this life is all there is, you will live in desperation because your purpose is slipping away day by day, breath by breath…it is all little “p” in the end.
And every moment takes you closer to the end.
Since this life is not all there is, we live with a growing sense of purpose…a purpose that not even death itself can take from us.
So, we ask God for daily bread…this is smallness of our lives as humans.
AND
We ask God for his Kingdom come, we work for that end…this is the greatness of our lives as children of God.
Here is the solution for purpose anxiety…
“If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.”
Romans 14:8