Love is complicated. Love is confusing. Love takes work.
Listen to secular music and we can be convinced everyone wants love but there is confusion about love.
Here’s a song you know.
I want to know what love is… I want you to show me.
I want to feel what love is… I need you to show me.
Tina Turner… love is too complicated and hard so she sings…
What’s love got to do got to do with it …
What’s love but a second hand emotion.
What is love… baby don’t hurt me… don’t hurt… – no more.
Is this love? No hurt no pain = love
We know we want love. We know love is good, but we can distort love.
How do we distort love?
Demand Love:
If you love me you MUST give me what I want.
Withhold Love:
Since I’m not getting what I want, I will try to hurt you by NOT loving you.
Payback Love:
I will love you SO THAT you will love me.
Confused Love:
If you love me you must AFFIRM my choices even if you think my choice will bring me harm.
This love is confused because it says – Tell me I’m OK even if I’m not OK.
Love is complicated. Love is complicated by sin. The sin out there in the world and the sin in here, inside of me.
We are like vacuums sucking up whatever love we can get.
God loves us. You are loved. I am loved.
1 John 3:16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us, we ought to lay down our lives for one another.
Love is action for the good of another with no thought for your own gain.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 John 4:9 We love because he first loved us.
The vacuum of love has been filled by the love of Christ. We are loved. We are accepted so now we have the resource to love others.
Last week Terry talked about three tests of certainty from 1 John 2.
We are looking at these tests so that we can be certain that we have eternal life.
Eternal life is not just unending life, but it is a quality of life. One of the qualities of eternal life is that we have a growing awareness that God loves us and keeps us.
The three tests are called The Moral Test, The Social Test, and the Doctrine Test.
Remember the tests are not Pass / Fail.
They are used to provide proof of a reality that already exists and to help us grow.
Today we will look at the social test.
1 John 2:7-14 The Social Test: Love One Another.
Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard. 8 At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining.
Beloved is a term of affection. You are my dear friends.
It is important to notice how John starts here because his tone communicates some of what he is going to say.
He is not rebuking his friends. He wants them to have certainty about their standing before God. He is about to deliver a word of encouragement.
The command to love is OLD and NEW.
OLD you have heard it from the beginning.
LEVITICUS 19:18 Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.
John ties this command to something old because there are false teachers saying you must have a new experience to be sure that you have eternal life.
Nothing new here, God has always desired us to love him and to love one another.
Then John goes on to say that there is something new about this command.
What is the newness that John had in mind?
John 13:34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
New in example
New in extent
New emphasis
New in Example: Jesus said, Love as I have loved.
Selfless love – Jesus served his disciples by washing their feet. He did not stand on his position as teacher, he willingly took the place of a servant.
Sacrificial love – Jesus laid down his life for us, we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. He willingly laid down his life expecting nothing in return.
New in Extent: How far does God’s love reach?
The Jewish leaders were good at drawing boundaries around who they should love and not love. They asked Jesus once Who is my neighbor? Jesus’ basic response is who is not your neighbor.
Everyone is made in the image of God and deserving of love.
Matthew 5:43-44 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Jesus’ love is radical. He loves enemies, those from different ethnic groups, those from different political persuasions, those who are afraid of him, those who disagree with him.
New in Emphasis:
Matthew 22:36-40 “Teacher what is the greatest commandment?”
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and the second is like it – love your neighbor as yourself.
Loving God and Loving others were two separate categories.
Spiritual love is love for God. Physical or family love is love for neighbor.
Jesus brings these two categories together.
They are two sides of the same coin. Loving God is like loving people.
1 John 4:20 How can you say you love God who you don’t see if you do not love your brother who you do see?
You can do all the spiritual activities that you want, sing songs, raise your hands, do devotionals but if you truly love God and His eternal life is in you you will demonstrate love to one another.
New in Example, New in Extent, New in Emphasis.
There is at least one piece missing.
Christian love is unique in its MOTIVATION.
Our acts of love are motivated by a desire to EXALT Christ.
By this will all men know that you are MY disciples.
We want to be recognized. We want to be loved back but mostly we want to please our King.
I want to love my enemies like Jesus so that Jesus would be exalted.
I want to love sacrificially so that Jesus would be exalted.
I want to grow in loving you so that Jesus would be exalted.
When I read 1 Cor 13:5 and it says Love keeps no record of wrongs.
I have been wronged. I want to nurse this hurt and hold a grudge.
I must seek reconciliation because that will bring honor to my king.
When I read 1 Cor 13:6 Love does not rejoice in evil but delights in the truth.
I know if I stand on the side of the truth of scripture, this person will not love me.
I’m not mean about the truth shoving it in a person’s face.
I can speak the truth in love because this pleases my King.
My desire to speak and live truth is not motivated by my need to prove myself right, but by concern for another and love for Jesus.
I’m tired of working to love. Some people are just hard to love.
Then I read 1 Cor. 13:7 that says love always hopes and always perseveres.
I ask for help to persevere because I want to exalt Christ.
Whatever you do whether in word or deed do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.
One of the qualities of eternal life is that we have a growing awareness that we are living our lives before the loving eye of the King. As we grow we want to please him in how we treat his children.
Our acts of love are motivated by a desire to EXALT Christ.
Listen again to what John says in verse 8:
it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining
John is saying.. I see this in you. You are loving like Jesus. Not perfectly but more like Jesus. Yes you are a mix bag of motives but God is purifying your motives.
Proverbs 4:18 The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until midday.
This light is shining and the more you apply the love of Jesus to your relationships, the more you walk this path, the brighter the light will shine the more you will have certainty.
John goes on to illustrate this command by contrasting light and darkness and love and hatred.
9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.
This is a confusing section.
Two realities at play here.
For all believers, the true light is shining but some still darkness lingers.
What do we do with this reality?
When I don’t love like God wants me to and I sin against someone, I mess up, fess up and move on.
Do not despair. Some darkness in you does not mean that you have never trusted Christ. It means that Christ has not finished his work of changing you.
Do you want to change? Do you want to want to change?
If so, this is an indicator that Christ is actually in you. Join him in what he is doing.
Second reality.
There are those who belong to God and those who do not belong to God.
Let’s think about at the phrase – “darkness has blinded his eyes”
Think of a blind person in a dark room. They are unaware of the darkness.
They are ignorant of the fact that they are in darkness and the darkness itself is the cause of their blindness.
2 Cor 4:4 the god of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
This is a sad reality.
I remember when Tiffany and I lived in Vancouver we would walk around our neighborhood and I would think wrongly… these people are fine. They don’t need Christ.
They were unaware of their need for Christ and what was more sad was that many of them didn’t know that Christ wanted them.
What do we do?
Pray – God open the eyes of unbelievers
Share gospel truth
Grow in loving one another like Jesus.
As we grow in loving one another, we are growing in our experience of eternal life.
We experience more of God’s love and the fellowship we enjoy with others.
We like the experience we are having with God and others and we want those in the dark to experience what we have experienced.
God help us to love one another deeply so that people might see the quality of life that you have brought into our lives.
John senses that his reader might be overwhelmed by this NEW/OLD Command to Love like Jesus.
John takes a break from the tests and writes a word of encouragement.
12 I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake.
13 I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning.
I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, children, because you know the Father.
14 I write to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.
At first glance this looks like he is speaking to three audiences and excluding half of the church.
He is addressing the whole church in this poetic section.
Think of yourself like, children, fathers, young men.
He repeats this section twice to add emphasis and provide more encouragement.
We are all like little children because we were helpless, but now your sins are forgiven.
The second repetition he says, we are like children and not little children, you are growing.
Like Fathers, What does it mean to be like a father?
You have a family, a house, career, influence, achievement but…
Your crowning achievement is that you know God.
He repeats the father metaphor but he says the same thing… You’ve done a lot, but still… Your crowning achievement is that you know God.
You are like young men. What are young men like? Ambitions, active, energetic.
You are like young men and have overcome the evil one you are strong, keep abiding in the word… keep going… keep growing… you have energy for this don’t quit!
This is my word to you River – keep growing. Keep loving one another
We are loving one another, not perfectly but more and more like Christ each day.
You love by praying, babysitting, texting, by holding each other accountable, by listening, etc.
All these things may seem mundane to you but they are not mundane. All these activities are evidence that the light of Christ has dawned in your life and it will get brighter and brighter.
What you have here in your relationship is normal for the Christian life but it is not normal for life in the world.
Let’s make this talk about light and darkness and love and hate and old and new – really practical for a few minutes.
Who has God given you to love?
Maybe someone hard to love. Maybe someone easy to overlook.
An enemy? Classmate? Family member? Roommate? Small group member?
Think about a person right now.
How can I show love to this person?
One of the tools we use as a church to help us love well is the heart attitudes.
Put the Success of Others Ahead of Your own
Will you pray regularly for someone else’s success?
When I think of serving I think of doing. I’m gonna do something or say something to help you.
Praying is a sacrificial way I can serve. I am putting aside my strengths, my skill and I am coming to God for you and your needs.
Serve them by listening. Everyone wants to be heard.
Maintain Clear Relationships
Will you forgive? Will you seek forgiveness?
This person has wronged me. You don’t know how much this hurts. I cannot forgive.
I’m not saying forgive right now right here, but do you want to forgive?
Are you willing to say, Jesus help me to forgive as you have forgiven me?
Give and Receive Spiritual Correction
Speaking the truth to one another in love.
Saying hard things and letting people say hard things to you.
When people have had the courage to speak to me about sin issues, I have been grateful.
When I was newly married to Tiffany, we invited a friend over for dinner.
I made some sarcastic comment about dinner and thought nothing of it.
My friend said, Rodney – did you know when you said that it hurt Tiffany.
I was clueless. His words were so helpful and kind.
He was speaking to a sin issue. He was willing to risk hurting me in order to help me.
Speaking to me about this issue was an act of love.
Will you risk and speak if God prompts you to? Will you receive a loving correction?
Live an Open and Honest Life
How can I let others love me? Am I willing to let people really know me?
Am I afraid that if I let them in they will not love me?
If they know my secrets will they still love me?
Will you let people show you love by living open and honest?
Will you move towards people in an attempt to get to know them and seek to love them?
There is confusion about love. God has shown us through Jesus Christ what love is.
We are loved. From this place of sure love lets grow in showing love to others.
Our love is motivated by a desire to exalt Jesus.
Phil. 1:9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.