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Life’s Questions – Week 20 Notes

  1. INTRO:

-On Memorial Day I was reflecting on the people I love who have died…my mom, Paul Comegys…in particular.

-Christy reminded me that day of her uncle who died at age 19 in WWII, he was by shot by German soldiers during a nighttime mission in France.

-He lost two lives…one was the life he had as a young man, the other the potential life he might have had if he had survived and returned to Joplin.

-This weekend I attended a reunion of former WSU football players…Oldest from the late 40’s and the “youngest” played in mid 80’s.

-I led a brief memorial time Saturday night before dinner for our teammates who had died…one in particular I remember as an energic 18-year-old freshman…always smiling…amazing athlete…that is where I see him in my mind.

-Then I thought of all the funeral services I have been a part of over the years…and I thought “I’d like to lead a memorial service where no one has died…while we are all still alive.”

In a sense every Sunday as we worship, as we sit under the Word of God…we are in a memorial service.

We remember the death and resurrection of Jesus, we reflect on our lives and why we exist and we contemplate the reality of our limited number of days.

But today…I want to be more direct about the reality of our limited days.

So consider this your memorial service that you get to attend in person.

If you are nervous about talking about death…or thinking about it…and some are, some aren’t.

If you are, I understand, there are reasons why this might be true for you.

It is not healthy or helpful to think about death in a way that immobilizes or leads to fear

It is also not healthy the way the entertainment industry deals with death…the morbid fascination and dark, even demonic preoccupation with it.

But it is healthy and helpful to think about death in a way that mobilizes us to wise action and leads to a life of faith

So it matters that we do think about death and how we think about it.

So before we get to the memorial service itself let’s look at some things culture says about death and some of what the Scripture says as a contrast.

Because while it is not good to live life with a fear of death…it is worse to live without a fear of death based on wrong information about death.

Christ has removed the penalty of death…but the application of his victory over death must be accepted by each of us personally.

So…some lack confidence regarding death (have a lot fear) but they are secure because they have trusted Christ…their confidence has not caught up with the reality of their actual safe situation.

Some have confidence but are not secure because they have not trusted Christ.

So the reality of their actual situation is out of line with what they believe to be true.

-They think they are safe…and they are not.

A lot of fear and a little faith in a strong bridge and you will make it safely across.

but

A lack of fear and lot of faith in a weak bridge and you will fall.

It is, in the end, about whether who/what we are trusting is actually trustworthy.

So let’s look at some common views and a summary of what the Bible says about death. 

Last week I read a story that mirrors what I have heard many times:

-A man who owns a small business in a KS town that was threatened with being flooded has the helmet of a deceased buddy who he served overseas with displayed in the store.

-The man told the reporter “My store won’t flood, because my friend is watching over me…he won’t let it happen.”

There are variations on this theme but often in some general way…It is believed that people who have died have become a sort personal deity…able to protect and bring good luck.

Where does this idea come from?…we will discuss that but first some other ideas.

  1. Death is the end of existence:

-Roger Ebert, the famous movie critic who died in 2013 wrote about his pending death:

“I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear…I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state.”

He believed that death ended existence…just like birth began it.

This view, which is common among those who disbelieve in God, says that we are just collections of matter/energy…this includes our personality.

There is no “soul” no “non-material” us that survives biological death.

  1. Death is an endless or semi-endless cycle:

-Eastern religions and some western worldviews hold this.

-In the Eastern versions (Hinduism)…the cycles of reincarnation are something to escape from…and the goal is to lose the illusion of your individual distinctiveness.

-In the West people tend to take a more self-gratifying view…like WWII General Patton who believed he was the reincarnation of past great military leaders.

-Most often people in the west don’t believe they are going down the cycle-chain of reincarnation (human to dog to bee to aphid, etc.)…but up…like Patton.

  1. Death leads to you becoming an angel or deity or some sort of super spiritualized being (or much worse if you are a really bad person.)

-This is the most common view of movies in the West.

What people believe about the big questions come from pop culture more than Scripture.

-This view is convenient for directors for two reasons:

  1. It’s non-controversial: good people live on in a better place
  2. Key characters get to continue in the film

*Like Obi Won Kenobi, and Yoda, even Darth Vadar…gets a good after life

  1. For others, death is a physical paradise that is earned through good works on earth

*The view of death people hold is based on their worldview which is sometimes carefully thought through (the thinking atheist, or the devote Muslim)

-I believe they are wrong about their conclusions…but at least they have thought about it.

*Because often what people believe is just sort of random collection of ideas from multiple sources.

A pot luck theology of the hereafter.

You go down the line and fill your plate with the stuff that looks good to you…you end up with an interesting collection of general pop culture, bible, eastern religions, what your friends say, and your own ideas.

Very little, if any, reflection on why this random collection of ideas would or could actually be real.

Quick reminder: We began the year with the reality of God and the reliability of the Bible as his word to us.

God is there: he has revealed himself in creation.

And in the life, death, resurrection of Christ and in Scriptures in very specific ways.

*Christ’s uniqueness is absolute in human history…no one like him…he is the Lord.

*Christ validated the reality of the Scriptures as the word of God.

*Then the Scriptures are self-validating in that they speak of the world as we actually experience it and they work when appropriately applied to life.

Since Everyone lives and dies by faith…we need help knowing what is real about death…and we have that help…the Bible

Ayn (ine) Rand was a novelist and political writer who died in 1982…she believed that “personal happiness is the moral purpose of life and reason is the only absolute.”

*And she wasn’t a pleasant person to be around…she didn’t put up with anyone who disagreed with her, and she did not live a moral life.

No surprise….since she was the source of wisdom and knowledge…and happiness was her moral compass

Her reason was her only absolute…and her reason told her what she wanted to hear.

*But it is not reasonable to believe that reason is your absolute…it is circular thinking.

*My reason tells me that my reason is true…she had faith in her reason.

All live by faith…God has made us beings who can trust our ability to reason to a degree.

But since we are sinful and self-centered and limited…we can’t trust it absolutely.

We require Him to tell us what reason cannot.

For instance…what is death, what happens when we die? How should we prepare for it? How should we live now in light of it?

So, before we have our “living memorial service”…let’s look at a few things the Bible says about death.

  1. Death is not a punishment for Christians.

Death was the penalty of sin…life is the gift of the gospel.

Rom. 8:1   Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

-The penalty for sin is death but that penalty no longer applies to us.

  1. Death is the final outcome, still, of living in a fallen world.

-Our salvation is Already/not yet

We have been delivered from the penalty of sin but the effects remain.

The final benefits of salvation do not come all at once…we have been saved, we are being saved, we will be saved (justification, sanctification, glorification).

-The last aspect of the fall to be removed will be death: 1 Cor. 15:26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

So death is not a penalty for believers but it remains a reality in a world where the effects of sin are yet to be fully removed.

  1. God uses the experience of death to complete our sanctification.

In a sense from the moment we are born…we move towards dying.

As we age, we become more aware of this fact.

-We have confidence that we never have to pay the ultimate penalty for our sin (Rom. 8:1).

When we do experience suffering and pain God is not “punishing us”…or trying to harm us.

He may be disciplining but as a Father to a child…not as our enemy or a judge.

He uses the processes of natural life…including death…to bring us close to him.

We talked about this at length in March(suffering)…so I won’t elaborate.

  1. Our loyalty to Christ is more important than preserving our own lives.

-The normal goal of preserving one’s own physical life at all costs is not the highest goal for Christians.

-Obedience and faithfulness to Christ is the highest goal.

Acts 20:24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.

2Tim. 4:6   For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Even when there is little likelihood that we will be called to give up our lives for the gospel, like here in Wichita…it could happen but the chances are small.

But to remember that we should be ready to do so…to reflect on this fact…can change how we live our lives day to day.

It is hard to be concerned for long over petty disagreements and annoyances…when we consider that we should stand ready to give up our lives for Christ.

Which would include giving our lives for others.

So…”I’ll die for Christ, but I’m not going to stop being bitter towards that person!”

Just doesn’t work, does it?

  1. How should we think about death then?
  2. We should not look at death with fear:

Phil. 1:21-23 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;

Heb. 2:14   Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death — that is, the devil — 15 and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.

  1. Yet we mourn Christian friends and family who have died.

*If they were believers we mourn with hope.

*if we don’t know if they were believers (and you don’t actually know what happened for anyone at the very end) then we mourn with faith in God…we trust him…with them.

But we mourn differently than those without hope.

1Th. 4:13   Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.

  1. Death is a one-time event…no cycles.

Heb 9:27 Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment,

So, let’s begin our memorial service…I’m not trying to be creative or cute…I’m very serious…it is important stuff to consider…it can help us live with wisdom.

This week as I began to work on this I had some attitudes that were not good…as I sat down and begin to read the Scriptures and type these notes…my attitudes and actions…suddenly looked very foolish…in light of this reality…and they were.

Then…acting with Faith and love…looked good to me…because they are good.

That happened in me…Just by thinking about thse things.

I know from experience the reality of: Ps. 90:12 “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (ESV)

So…let’s go get us some wisdom this morning.

The purpose of this memorial service mirrors the purpose of our lives: To Honor God

We have three goals to accomplish this overall purpose.

  1. Celebrate a life worth celebrating
  2. Comfort one another
  3. Take the Challenge to move forward with perspective

Let’s get started, remember to put yourself in the place of the one for whom we are gathered this morning.

  1. Celebrate a life worth celebrating

At this point I would normally read your obituary…places, people, activities of your life.

This is sort of the “fact sheet of your time on earth.”…it tells your story in very simple fashion.

But then I would lead us in really remembering who you were, what you gave your life for…what was valuable to you.

I have led memorial services where frankly, this part was hard…because the person didn’t value what was valuable in the way they lived their lives…they just weren’t wise or good people.

So…what did I do?

I talked about what this person would say is valuable now…from their perspective of eternity.

Actually…I take this approach for every person because it is true…all will see from the vantage point of eternity what matters most.

So let’s assume you value what is most valuable…so here’s what I have to say about you as we celebrate your life.

Often at memorial services there are display of the things that mattered most to our loved ones…elements of their hobbies, picture of trips, pictures of people, uniforms, sports teams.

But I can’t help but notice that today as we honor you…that the display of your values is the lives of people.

We are here because of the investment of your life…you have served, loved, sacrificed for us.

You can echo with Paul…

2 Cor. 3:2 You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody.

Your love for God showed up in love and investment in the lives of people.

You have hobbies, and interests, and a job…but it is clear that you live your life like Christ did…for others not yourself.

You don’t live to save your life…you give your life away…and we are blessed, we are here because of that.

Is that true for you? Yes? Thank God…stay the course.

Do you want it be true? Or more true? Then go make it so…live for the good of others not your self.

Not in perfection…but a life direction.

You will be happier yourself if you do.

  1. Let’s move on to the Second part of our purpose, we are here to comfort one another

Some are extroverts, some are introverts…but all humans are designed to be in relationship with God and others.

When Jesus said it was time for him to go…he said that it was a good thing because as he went he would send the Holy Spirit.

Jesus was localized with a few during his time on earth, the Holy Spirit is internalized in the many.

John 16:7 But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Comforter will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.

The word “Comforter” was another name for the Holy Spirit.

It comes from a word…paraclete…that derives from two words that mean to “call alongside”

Para (like parallel) and a word kaleo “to call”

The Holy Spirit comforts us by calling us alongside him…he brings to us conviction of sin when we need it…so we can confess and live free lives.

He reminds of us of what Christ taught us…so we can live in the joy of the truth.

He empowers us for faith-filled ministry and life.

He comforts us, not merely by saying, “It will be okay.”

But by pointing us to Jesus…he is the objective reason we will be okay.

A derivative of this same word, the name for the Holy Spirit, is used to describe how we comfort one another even as God comforts us through the Spirit.

2Cor. 1:3   Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

The word here translated comfort (applied from us to others)…means to call alongside…to come alongside.

What we experience personally from the Holy Spirit we are able to give to others…his comfort overflows through us to each other.

This kind of comfort is not merely “It will be okay” or “I’m so sorry for your loss”

Those words are fine…but this comfort is about the reality of the gospel.

We don’t just give them words, or even our presence…as important as those are…we point them to the gospel…the real hope.

Christ calls us to himself, we call others to walk side by side with us and we point them to Christ.

So here…in this, your memorial service…we worship in community, as a body of Christ.

Your life is lived walking with Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit and walking in open and honest community with others.

You don’t phase in and out of relationship with God and others…like many do…you stay engaged for the long haul.

You are all in…for the glory of God and the good of others…you are not flaky…you are a “parakaleo”…a comforter.

Now even as your life has encouraged us as the Holy Spirit has encouraged you…we encourage one another from the example of your life

Is this actually true? Yes? Thank God

Do you want it to be true? More true? Make it happen.

Decide and live decided…don’t live a life of cycling in and out of community…in and out of the live of people

Stay the course for the long haul.

Now to the last of our three goals for this memorial service:

  1. Take the Challenge to move forward with perspective

Ps. 90:12 “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (ESV)

*Last night several people came up to me in the middle of the party and wanted to talk about this verse…I went to talk to my coach, Coach Jefferies and he said “look”…he had written Ps 90 on his program.

This verse, if you let it, can have a powerful impact on your life…or actually…experiencing this verse can.

You have the great privilege that few have had…you are attending in person your own memorial service.

You don’t know the number of your days…God does…but you do know your days have a limited number.

There is a calendar date…sometime in the future you will die.

That is an extremely difficult thing to grasp with our minds…it is so far outside the realm of our experience.

When people are given a time frame “you probably have this long to live”…they often begin to think about death in a different way.

But we normally have to push ourselves to think and live wisely regarding the limited number of our days.

We certainly should not wait until we are forced to think and live wisely to do so.

The Bible says we must cry out to God to help us number our days…to teach us how to do so in ways that lead to wisdom.

Wisdom in the Bible is not merely intelligence…it is living in line with what is real and true.

It is a life lived well…based on the reality of God and the reliability of his word.

So…here at our memorial service…I will say it again

What matters most at the end, matters most now.

Relationship with God and others…will matter most at the end…they matter most now.

  1. Walk with God in loving obedience.

-Cry out to him to help you want to obey him…if you struggle with even wanting to.

-Cry out to him to help you value what is valuable

-Pursue him to love him…because he is the reason you exist and he is the source of your lasting joy

  1. Walk with others in loving relationship.

*Do you have grudges, broken relationships…and is it within your power to do something?

-Then do something

*If not, then open your heart and give that relationship to God…hold no grudge in your heart.

*Are you treasuring the people in your life…your friends, your children, your spouse, parent?

*You do not have unlimited conversations, meals, cups of coffee, worship services…this is your wake-up call.

Figure out how to have on ongoing personal wakeup call…how do you keep what matters most at the end in front of you?

On Army posts every morning you will hear “Reveille” a word that means “wake up”

Not to be confused with “reverie” which along with being a coffee shop means being pleasantly lost in one’s own thoughts…that’s not “reveille”

Every morning on Army posts on loud speakers you can hear…”Wake up” played by a bugle.

Then at the end of the work day…the loudspeakers play the tune “retreat”…the day is done.

Followed by the “National Anthem”…a daily reminder of what you spent that day working for…and of the sacrifices others have made before you. (jogging or walking you stop, driving you pull over)

Then in the evening at 9:00 you hear the haunting sound of…”Taps”

“Day is done, gone the sun, from the hills, from the lake, from the skies…all is well, safely rest, God is nigh.”

These things mark the day…and remind soldiers of important things…but they don’t.

-Because soldiers on Posts rarely think deeply about what these reminders are reminding them of.

How can you learn to mark your day with reminders…perhaps your QT…a single, simple prayer throughout the day.

Accountability with others…a text, phone call…whatever it is…do it…live wisely.

Tap is also played at the funeral of veterans…I have heard it many times…heard a couple of weeks ago…I am always moved by it.

But one funeral that stands out in mind…that I officiated was that of a military member who had taken his own life

It was dead winter, chill factor below zero

We were in a corn field with no trees, a small country graveyard

I stood off from the family that huddled under the tent battered by the bitter wind.

The guns sounded their salute…then the bugle played taps as the wind howled around us.

Then over the sound of the wind and the bugle…I heard the teen daughter of the man who was gone began to wail.

I thought to myself…this is what desolation sounds and feels like…I felt the sting of death…in that cornfield.

Then I reminded myself of the gospel hope.

“1 Cor. 15:55-58 Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

**Wisdom is not merely remembering we will die…it is remembering we will live because of the gospel.

From that gospel reality comes a lifestyle now…a settled choice

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

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